“Merdeka !” (Indonesia independence day)

Merdeka means freedom. “Merdeka ! Merdeka !” the word was called by everyone that day. It was 17th August 1945, at 10 AM, by our first president – Soekarno - Indonesia declared the country’s freedom from colonialism, 350 years by the Dutch plus three and a half years by Japanese. No more colonialism, no more scares, no more suffer, no more hunger, freedom is now in our hand.

It was a day when the Japanese kidnapped all the girls, any where, every where, at any time. In front of the house, at the market, in the mosque, in the church, on the street. Dragged and compiled them into a truck and kept them in a locked room each to serve the Japanese sexual desires. Everyone was scared to death to save their daughters as well as my grand father. He had 5 girls and 3 of them were teenagers. No father in this world would like to see his daughters to become a bunch of hookers, so did my grandfather. Thus, my grandfather went to the nearest monastery asking the priest to let his daughters to stay in the monastery. He kissed the priest’s feet. He promised anything he could. He would not leave the monastery till the priest gave him his permission to let his girls to stay in.

I hate war. I hate seeing people killing to each other. I even hate war movie. For me, wars leave us nothing but pain and trauma. Why do we have to suffer other’s people life when we can make their life better?. Why do we have to hurt others when we do not want to be hurt? See war in Iraq. Who wins the war and who suffer the most? See Sierra Leone in West Africa. A country produces a high amount and the best diamond in the world. War gives their people nothing but pain and hunger. AFROL.com explains that “since 1991, the country has suffered war, terror and a deep, unrelenting humanitarian crisis which have left it devastated….Between 20,000 and 75,000 people have been killed and thousands mutilated……The worst of it might be that there do not seem to be other motives for this than maintaining control of the rich diamond fields of Sierra Leone”.

See Ethiopia. The Afrol.com says that during the civil war “hundreds of civilians have died in the fighting (the ONLF estimates 2,000 killed by the government in the past year, though one independent estimate suggests the figure is less than half that), and 1.8 million more may be at risk, as an Ethiopian blockade has cut off commercial food shipments from neighboring Somalia and prevented the region's nomadic people from selling their livestock”. The war made people suffering, made people hungry. The war gave the children no future, but instead they were junk food for the condors. You saw that picture, didn’t you? There are more and more news about wars. But I wish there will be no more wars existing in this world.

Back to Indonesia. 17th August every year, besides formal ceremonies in the presidential palace and all government institutions, is the day when people are having fun, forgetting all troubles in this life. There will be games for children and adults, finalized in the evening by musical performances or big feast with everyone in the neighborhood. People are inventing new games for more fun such as play football with wife’s house dress, pillows battle on the river, though there are similar games during these decades such as running is sack, etc. Prizes could be something simple like books and candies for children, or T-shirt for the adults. But fun is the most important thing. Look at the picture. My friend – Sabina Lucia – took the picture of a famous palm tree’s climbing race in Kali Malang. The palm was oiled and placed in the middle of Kali Malang river. There were shirts, trousers, bicycles, attached on it. People smeared sands into their bodies to beat the oil. They were holding to each other to climb the palm. It was reported that 2 hours later, no one succeeded. They kept falling down into the river. More laughing, more fun. The race attracted hundreds of people and had made a long traffic jam. Climbing the oiled palm trees is a common race during our independence day all over Indonesia.

When everyone is having fun, some people are questioning. Is that all? Is it the way we fulfill this freedom? Do we love our country enough? Make the best for it enough? The answer is may be yes, may be not. In my opinion, Indonesian people are varies. There are people who build the rules and implement it in the right ways to make this country better. There are people who play around with rules to fulfill their own ambitions for power or money. And there are people who even do not realize there are rules existed. 1998 was a critical time in the country when Soeharto’s regime - the government at that time - fell down after more than 30 years governed the country with his iron hands. Euphoria of freedom rose. Everyone was eagerly struggling to reach the goals, in the name of reformation. Chaotic situation occurred. In my working field, many national parks were invaded by people who claimed that it was their land forcedly taken by Soeharto’s before. The worst I saw when I was in Tanah Bumbu, South Borneo. Along the motorway, I saw hundreds of illegal trucks with coal inside. According to our national regulation, mining trucks should not be on the public road by any reasons. In that area illegal coal mining is the main problem but seemed no one did nothing. I heard from the TV news, a teacher was beaten to death by local gangsters as he complained about the dust and noisiness produced by the coal trucks. What a reformation.

Afterwards, people during Soeharto’s era started to gain their power again now, when things are getting worse, less money available, less jobs, less food. Reformation in reality do not give people in general a better life unless for some individuals. People are memorizing the plenty of food available during Soeharto’s era, and they selected those people again. Selecting our leaders - nationally, provincially, locally - directly is something new for us. Although, as I wrote before, people are attracted more to appearance than the quality. But this is the process of democratization. People are learning. But I remember a Malysian guy said on TV “Melayu people are people who easily forgetting things. If you make troubles. Stay away for sometime, abroad if necessary. Then people will forget your mistakes”. No wonder more and more people from the past are having their political power again now. I’m wondering, if I make mistake someday, I’ll do the same. Why not ?

With freedom in our hands in 1945, we build our country. Though we are far behind India (1947), Malaysia (1957), Singapore (1965), for the country’s economy and technology development, but we never stop to love our country. Let me quote my friend’s note – Agus Sari : “Not because we won the war. Not because we were given freedom. But because we love it. Because we can do something to it. Make it better. Love it. Short negligence or ignorance, some apparent weaknesses, are not a way to disown or to deny the love. Have a great independence day, Indonesia”. And I could not agree more.

Feel stressful ? No way

I went to see a good friend of mine today. She went to hospital for several days after having a very bad vertigo. She went through many medical checks, eg. EEG, blood check, etcetera. It was found that there is a minor imbalance in her brain which is caused by many reasons, especially her diet. But from our conversation, I found out that her burden of getting through many obstacles in her daily routine is the main cause of her sickness. Both of her children went to high school and junior high school. We all know that there is a very tight competition amongst students in Jakarta to get into a good school. This makes many parents feel worry about their children. Last year, when my niece was expelled twice from the selected high school, my mother had a very high blood pressure. There are also some issues in her office that absorbed much of her energy. All this stressful feeling mounted little by little, then it exploded till she got vertigo and went to hospital.

It is very humanly that we feel stressful. When we realize that there are so many obstacles or when things turn out to be different to our expectations, that is when this feeling begins. People will react differently to handle this stressful feeling. Some will eat a lot, sleep a lot, sing a lot, scream a lot, cry a lot or even laugh a lot. Or just like my friend, say nothing but then suddenly go to a hospital. Which one is yours ?

Long time a go, when I faced failures that made me to feel stressful, I slept a lot and I cried a lot. And I also did a lot of fasting. Fasting itself is a kind of my family rituals. Each member of my family loves fasting. But I realized that all I can do is just facing everything and hope God will always stay besides me. Though I was so nervous, but I kept pushing myself to be a strong person. When time goes by, at the moment, I don’t recognize the word “failure”. The word “failure” is no more existed in my life. When my plan does not turn out to be what I expected, it means that God says “I have a better plan for you, Retno”. At least I have 2 important events that make me behaving like this.

Faculty of forestry was my second choice when I was in the university. The first one was department of agricultural machinery. I felt so sad that time, till I had a dream. In my dream, I walked under the trees’ canopies. It was after the rain and the sun light dispersed between leaves of the canopies. Most of photos or paintings that describe the beauty of forest would have this kind of pictures. But the most important thing is, I felt so happy in that dream. When I woke up, I felt that God just had a conversation with me. And now look at me. I work for protected areas. I will do everything to keep our natural resources maintained. I will make people to realize the importance to keep this world undamaged. When all the ecosystems are in balance, so do our life. If I went to agricultural machinery, I might would have been worked in a factory now. Making pollution to this world instead of making it clean. I would have a horrible life. Thanks God for sending me to faculty of forestry.

The second event was when my plan to go to US for my master degree was cancelled. I had my flight ticket in hand already. Suddenly, things were just blown up due to some administrative reasons. I was so stressful. I even felt the pain when I touched my head. I had it for almost a year. When all problems solved, I met a friend, Prof. Charles Santiapillai. An elephant expert who was also the director of WWF Indonesia at that time. He was wondering if I would like to do my master degree in UK. I said “sure, I would like to”. Then he gave me a piece of paper to be taken to the British Council. In that office I was interviewed for about 2 hours. After the interview, the guy at the BC said “Retno, you are the luckiest person in Indonesia. We’ve been trough selections for our scholarships in all over in Indonesia since February – it was in December. But there is still one place available, and fortunately, it is exactly for your field of interest. So Retno, welcome to the BC”. What ? That easy ? Unbelievable. It seemed like that the scholarship was just there for me. It was empty until I came by to pick up what belongs to me. So God has another plan for me.

Now I understand why I have to go to UK. You know I love travelling. Studying in UK enabled me to travel to many countries in Europe. Visiting many friends. Feeling the atmosphere of different countries, different faces, different cultures ! I felt so happy. I also have a very strong British accent when I speak English. This accent makes me to be accepted in particular group of people. Paul - my best friend from RARE - said that my accent belongs to the upper class society in UK. Once people speak to me, they will recognize that I’m coming from a good family with a good education. No wonder when I was in a seminar of oil companies’ participation in environmental conservation, at Twin Towers, Kuala Lumpur, during the dinner I shared table with the CEO of those oil companies, when my boss was seated far away at the back of the room. I said to the committee” why should I have to sit here ? I’m not an important person”. But the British guy from the committee insisted that I was important. When I had an interview with fullbright, the interviewers were wondering why I have such a strong accent. And I said “when I was in UK, I had a British boy friend. We might kissed too much”. Studying in UK also enabled me to stop by in Mecca for my “Umroh” on the way back home to Indonesia.

So now I have no reason to feel stressful anymore. No doubt there are problems in our daily life. Financial problem, family problem, education problem – this is my main problem now. But I know that every time I successfully pass a problem, I become a stronger person. And when thing does not turn out to be what I wanted, God has a better plan for me. For my better future.

High School Reunion (again).

We had another high school reunion. It was on 2nd August 2009 at Pulau Dua Restaurant Jakarta. My sister wondering why do I have many high school reunions. Normally it is only once in a year, but we have met about 4 times now. Well, that’s because we love to see each other. We have too many good friends during high school. We feel that they are more trusted than our co-workers. And for sure, we love to behave as teenagers again.

This reunion was bigger than other meetings we had before though I did not see several familiar faces. We also had people from social science class as before we had people from natural science class only. Many of our teachers came as well. During high school, I loved mathematics, I loved physics, I loved biology but I felt sick for chemistry. I saw my mathematics teacher. After these 27 years, it is so amazing that she is not changing at all. She is still the smart Madam Kun that I knew. I saw my chemistry teacher and my biology one as well.

For the later, he was a new teacher when I was in the third grade. It was a day when I was late for school. I was just standing at the gate when he closed and locked the school gate. I said “Sir, I’m here already”. But he insisted that I was late. It was a day when students obliged to gather at an open area to hold a ceremony respecting our nation symbolized by our flag. Students are students. There were many more who were late. So we decided to get into the school from an other entrance. Climbing the wall !! Though I was the only girl, but we hold each other to climb the wall. Hoop la ! Got into my class !! When my biology teacher walked around to check the empty classes. There was me, giving him my big smile !!

The best thing of the last reunion was I found all of my shared table friends. Look at the picture. Evy in my first grade, Henny (with blue hijab) in my second grade and Ningsih (with yellow hijab) in my third grade. I’m so happy. I feel like I have found my lost sisters !! During the reunion I saw Bambang my fiend who lives in Bali. He is so dark till we call him Bambang black. I saw Nunuh as well, my good friend during high school. He is not married yet. People said why don’t we become a couple. No way. Friends are friends. Friendship should be distinguished clearly from love. For me, it is so stupid if marriage is based on who ever available. Besides love, marriage is about uniting vision and philosophy of life. Though there would be differences, but it is all about living in this world with shared values and achieving shared goals. Not only for our own happiness, but also for the benefit of this world and the human being.

Other good thing about reunion is taking pictures together. People just flocked from one group to an other, who ever taking pictures. Social science class or natural science class, who cares ! On the way back, I visited Nana’s new house. A nice house with a nice neighbourhood. We had a cup of tea and discussing about our cats. I left her house when the day was getting dark.