A note from tengger

June 5, 2010. Today is the last day I stay In Ngadisari village, tengger region. I’m going home tomorrow after more than two months living in the village, studying and observing tenggerese’s life. Understanding what they think about themselves and where they are going in the future. Though there were suspicious eyes watching me when I first arrived, today I have many friends – real friends – that expect me to visit them again sometime in the future.

I read and I had heard that tenggerese are people who put honestly and kindness first for every single thing they do. More than that, there is nowhere else in the world where you live with people where none of them will harm you at any level. No one will take your belonging. There is no burglar, no pick pocket. Even when someone found the neighbor left the house with an open door, one will wait until the house owner come and make sure no one else enter the house. When one has trouble in his/her life, others will try to help. I saw when a half paralyzed guy tried to walk, everyone was taking care of him and tried to cheer him up. They are Hindus. The religion obliges its followers to believe “karma” - when you do bad things to the others, you will get the consequences later on. So better to do good things as life will treat you better.

In the village, you have no worry to be betrayed. No one will hurt your feeling. In contrary people will hold their feeling for your own interest. A few days before I left, it was a guy who put his interest on me though I have no interest at all on him. Actually I prefer other more good looking guys to escort me, not him. But all his friends supported him – including the guys that I prefer - and tried to set up a situation where I would spend most of my time with him, by escorting me wherever I go. With thousand of reasons I avoided him. If he were a guy from Jakarta, I would appoint my finger on his nose. Warn him to get off from my view. But I can’t do that there. Otherwise the whole villagers will recognize me as a cruel woman. Though for some aspects, I am.

When everyone is nice, is there any mechanism of punishment? No, they don’t need it. If a guy does a bad thing, he would be the topic of discussion. People will see him differently. Once the chief of village call the guy for an advice, it is the time he feels shame and loses his face. No one in tengger would like to lose their faces. They’d better committed suicide than losing faces. It is reported that a former chief of one village in tengger region committed suicide after being caught gambling.

When you deal with people who sincerely treat you well, there is no choice than treat them nicely with your sincere feeling as well. As a result, I feel that the whole villagers love me. It is great to have this feeling. A feeling to trust everyone, an assurance that no one will harm me. I see every single individual gives me a sincere smile, and I smile back to them. Everyone asks me to visit their houses, and once I come they will provide meals. Eating meal is a must to prove that you appreciate the house owners. Once I ate big meals three times in one evening. I had to do it though I felt that the rice had reached the upper level of my throat. I’m learning that for being nice I have to put other people’s feeling ahead from my own. Sounds like a soup opera where the leading role is naively nice to everyone. I hate soup opera but for the time being, I am the leading actress.

It was also a time when I stopped by due to heavy rain in Wonokerso village. I entered a house and joint the hostess at a fireplace. I tried to communicate but she spoke poor bahasa and I couldn’t speak the local language. We ended up sitting together in silence. Then her son came joining us. Again I tried to break the ice. He answered my questions with only short sentences. Then silence again. I asked to leave as the rain was stopping but they hold me by saying that it was still raining heavily. They liked my present. They wanted me to stay, but in silence. For a chatty person like me, being silence is a real torture.

Tenggeresses are living in harmony within their society. Everyone trusts everyone. No matter happen in another part of the world, who cares. My village is my heaven. Unfortunately this discourages young people to pursue higher education. Most of the villagers are elementary school graduated. Even people who went to universities, once they finished, they return back to the village again, to become farmers. Including the guy who put his interest on me - an illiterate guy who is drunk every day. My education, my job, my expected achievements and my future are the things beyond his imagination. In the village, there is almost no intellectual discussion. You would hardly hear any debate on politics or country’s economic condition. The most intellectual discussion I have ever heard were about selecting the best seed quality of vegetables and where to the get the best price to sell vegetable – tengger region is famous for vegetable productions. When they gather, they talk about funny things. One will make the best jokes that one could create. It was fun anyway – for certain period - being around by humorists. They do gossiping. Once you’re part of the society, people will watch every single move of you. So beware !

I mentioned about “drunk” earlier. They do consume alcoholic drink. In a cold place like that – more than 2000 m asl – they need alcoholic drink to warm themselves. During parties such as a wedding party, there will be unlimited flow of alcoholic drink to everyone, especially men. Drink as much as you can. They also use drink only from recognized brand. No experiment. Fortunately, they know when to stop. People who are drunk in public, will lose their faces in society. When they are drunk they don’t behave negatively. Just sit nicely or stay still and smoke cigarettes. One night, I walked through drunken people – more than a hundred people- to find a person. They stared at me only behind their cigarettes’ smoke and let me passed. Different to North Celebes and West Papua or perhaps in other places on earth where walking through 100 drunken people is similar to committing suicide. Party doesn’t have to be held during week end. Mostly during week days because each individual has different lucky day. After having fun in one evening, the next day people return to their daily routine. Farmers go to their fields, teachers and students go to schools, etc.

No wonder tenggerese prefer to stay forever in their villages. Every individual has – at least - a piece of land for farming. They regularly have money from vegetable productions. From tourists, young tenggerese are able to collect at least fifty thousand rupiah per day from tips as being middle men between tourists and tourism facilities eg. hotels, transportation, horse riding, etc. During peak season, they could even collect more than five hundred thousand rupiah a day. Where in the city, it is difficult to earn money, even for ten thousand rupiah per day. The easiness to earn money, unlimited flow of alcoholic drink availability and a feeling of trust that no one will hurt you. It is heaven. Everyone who lives in the cities wants to live like that. Lucky tenggerese. Except one thing : your brain would be frozen as life is too good and only a few have intention to use their brains.

Reunion – Junior high school

As the high school reunion becomes my routine schedule, now I have another reunion of my junior high school , the 41 Junior High School located somewhere in the south part of Jakarta. I was a new student in 1977, moved from other school as my father got a new job with a housing facility. I remember that the school – it moves to a new location now - had a kind of hilly contour which made my class – I think - to be located about one meter below sea level. So during wet season, our class was regularly flooded and our sport activities were cleaning up our muddy class. Similar to the things we do in the gym, we lifted up water from the well, transported the buckets with full of water to the class, brushed the floor, plus those annoying boys who were running around, playing fighting heroes on the wet muddy floor.

I was greeted by some unfamiliar faces when I first arrived in the reunion - it was a second one as I missed the one before. And a tall guy said “I’m Daud. Do you remember me?”. Bingo !! I know the guy. He was my classmate in the third year of the school. During a home industry class, I threw a palm of rice into his dense curly hair and he had trouble to take them out. Well, it was fun ! I met several others. There were about 19 people came to the reunion. But the best thing is I met my best friend during my junior high school. Henny, a very tomboy student (see the picture). At that time, she often fought with other students. She is the eldest and the only daughter in her family with her six brothers. No wonder she mastered any styles of fighting especially with boys. Astonishingly, she is the first who got married amongst us.

When we had a chat remembering all the memories, one friend was wondering why she did not really remember each of the others. I said ”Sure, because they are the kickers and we are not”. During the late 70’s, kickers – a shoe brand – was a very fancy brand. If you want to be considered as fancy and famous, wear the shoes and you will belong to the gang. I and some others were just some simple students. Our complicated family’s financial situation at that moment influenced us to consider the brand as an unaffordable good to be purchased. In another word, we had no money to buy the shoes. Even to save money, for our pottery project, I and Henny dug a nearest river to get the clay. It was fun playing in the river though Henny was almost rushed by the water. When the others created some very artistic objects such as vases, pots, plates, I decided to make a “thumb” for my pottery project. And I think it was the best art product that I have ever created in my life.

There are not so much memories I remember during my junior high school period. I remember some boys’ names who liked teasing all the girls. I remember my math teacher – as normal, I was good at math. She was a very small, very old, very skinny and a very weak lady. Surprisingly, to date she is still alive ! There was also my English teacher, Madam Dharso. Because of her, I fell in love with English as a foreign language. She often introduced us some new English songs while she was teaching to make sure that we had a proper pronunciation. To date, while I’m speaking English I still feel like I am singing.

The restaurant that we had the reunion is a nice one. It has a broad range of Japanese and European cuisines to choose. I liked the food though Henny as a genuine west Sumatran person, she could not eat. For her, proper food means lots of chilly and coconut milk mixed with meats, chickens, or vegetable, sometime with the inner parts of a cow. For me, the later is the best part though sometime they give me a stomach problem. Perhaps for the next reunion, we can go to the restaurant which serves traditional food. And I hope I would be able to come due to my tight schedule to execute my field research, where I hope, I could see Yuni, my shared table friend during the junior high school. She lives in Surabaya now. I’m looking forward to see her.

Good bye son

I don’t like talking about sadness. I don’t like talking about death. All make me devastated. But as a human, whether we want it or not, death will approach you, and to the people you love, sooner or later. I just lost my beloved kitten, and I was almost devastated. The yellow, funny and lovely kitten, got sick on Wednesday. He vomited many times and refused to eat. I took him to the veterinary on Thursday evening and the guy said that my kitten needed an emergency surgery as he got problem with his prostate otherwise he would die. So I agreed. He did the surgery that night. The next day he was OK but very weak and the next morning he died.

I did not want to see his body. I was too sad. I cried every time I remember him. I think I was almost unconscious when the veterinary gave me a call. He was very closed to me. Sometime he slept in my hold. He liked to sleep on top of the fridge then called me loudly to give him a rub. He liked to put himself a half across our fences to observe the road. We had him since he was born. My sister pulled him slowly from his mother’s womb as his old mother had trouble to give a birth. When he was a couple month, my knees dropped him, he could not walk but then he recovered anyway. When he was 6 months, he played with his mother and brother by running around my bed whether I was there or not. When we just moved to Bogor, he was so afraid that I might leave him. He often slept on my lap and put his head on my chest. He fell asleep everywhere he liked, laid down on his back with his legs upright. He had a funny way of sitting as a fat man lay his back on the wall. Every time I saw his favorite spots, my eyes were watering again. I keep telling myself, he had gone, returned to his creator. The place where all the living creatures will return to. When my time comes, I will see him again. However during her pray, my sister saw him running around with his brother who died 6 months ago. He is happy now, no pain, no hunger, no other cats who often attack his small body. But there is no me who loves him so much.

When I lost my father the impact was worst. I avoid seeing any burials for quite a long time. It was a time when I came to the burial of my friend’s father. I was suddenly unconscious in the cemetery. So there were two bodies carried by people that time, the death person and me. I am strong for many things, challenges in work, facing people who break the rules, facing failures, no questions for all those things, except facing the death of people that I love.

But who can avoid a death? No human, no animal, no plant. All who have soul will die. It is all the matter of when, where and how. During the earthquake in Padang, 3 villages buried under landslide where 400 people were having wedding party there. In Haiti, a man survived for 10 days under the debris until people rescued him where about 200 thousand others lost their lives. Now, people are influenced by the rumor of 2012 the judgment day. In the film, technology solves the problem. Do you agree with that? I don’t. Technology is a tool controlled by human. But human’s soul is a tool controlled by God. For me, it does not matter whether I survive or not, I will be under God’s control anyway, on earth or in a place called heaven, hopefully. How to seduce God to always put me in a best place? Agus, my friend said “wet your lips with God’s names” and he will always be with you. I am doing it.

But human is a human with all the imperfectness. The sadness of losing someone, the loneliness for being abandoned, frustration for being failed, those things sometime make us to be uncontrolled. Put the blame to anything, including me to the veterinary. I wish I never sent my cat to him. But “kun fa ya kun” when God say something, so be it. When God wants to take my cat, nothing will stop him. Why do I have to be this sad when I lost my cat, how about loosing my mother. No way. But the day will come anyway. Who can avoid a death? No one.

Good bye my beloved lovely kitten. Good bye son. Be happy there with your brother. Someday we will meet again and you can sleep on my lap again. Bye, I love you.

HAPKA XIV - foresters reunion

Morning departure

Dissimilar to the normal days, after my morning pray I didn’t go to bed again. I prepared to catch a bus at 6.30 AM at Bogor Agricultural University to go to Walat Mountain. Saturday, 31st November 2009, was the day where the faculty of forestry held a big reunion for the XIV times. The big reunion itself is held every 3 years. Attending the reunion means seeing from the first graduated foresters to the youngest ones. I arrived at 6.15 AM. But the bus departed at 7 o’clock since there were not so many people appeared. If I knew this, I might have taken a short nap this morning before leaving.

In 2 hours, 12 people in the bus arrived in Walat Mt – a small hill covered with big dammar trees used by students for their field practices in the Faculty of Forestry. Though during my studying year, I went to Walat Mountain mostly for my nature lovers’ group field activities. There are tremendous changes occurred in the mountain. Students mess which normally looked like huts, at the moment they look fancier. The kitchen that almost broke down now becomes a nice dining area. But the aula has the best change. Wooden floor and beautiful wooden ceiling make the aula looks very nice. Most of these renovation activities are donation from our alumnus. I stayed in a room for lecturers with a friend. Before sleeping we tried to have a chat. But I felt that my friend was so far away and whispered chat in the midnight didn’t work at all. We just realized the next day that the room is quite a big one, 3x5 meter square.

It is only less than a year after Budi - younger generations of forestry lecturers - holds the responsibility to manage the area. Everyone knows him as a smart person though he acts and speaks like a crazy guy. I will laugh till I couldn’t breathe when I hear him make jokes. His idea to catch people attention to go the mountain is “if you want to marry secretly, the mountain is the best place to do it”. He said that we will have a free of charge rate if we can take people from the highest echelon in the ministry of forestry to do this secret marriage. It is such a crazy idea !! We do not take this seriously. No one will be brave enough to take their secret lovers to the university’s facilities – the biggest agricultural university in Indonesia. It is not going to be a secret anymore as students are everywhere. These students will watch you and your secret lovers having fun. That’s foolish!. But eventually, the idea is not a joke for our minister since he is coming from one of the religious political parties. There are two possibilities, he is a very religious person or he has no sense of humor. Perhaps in a short time, Budi should launch another catching slogan to make people to come to the mountain.

In the future, Budi has a program to make Walat Mt belongs not only to the university, but also public in general. International mountain bike race will be held soon there. Facilities provided also available for different purposes, from nature lover groups requirement, family visit to a big seminar with natural surrounding environment – big dammar trees, monkeys and bird’s song. It is a good place to spend week end with family.

Indonesian motivator

One of Indonesian famous motivators – Mario Teguh – gave his presentation that day. Everyone was waiting for him. As normal, all speeches took so much time. Especially when you used to work for the government, the longer you spend your talk, the better as people will go to sleep. But Mario is a professional. For him, if the appointment is at twelve to one o’clock, it has to be started at twelve o’clock and finished at one o’clock. His schedule was 40 minutes late which made him to have only 20 minutes left to speak. This also made his rate much higher – his normal rate is US$ 100 per minute. Though at last he added an extra 15 minutes. He said that he was very sure everyone in this room is good friends to each other since when the speeches were executed slowly, no one complained. He said this with a tone of humor. Mario may be right, or perhaps he wants to make people to become punctual. But he forgot that we are Indonesians. 30 minutes to 1 hour late is forgivable. He is the one who should make an adjustment, or he can make a life in Singapore where everyone is punctual, not in Indonesia. We can make our own self punctual, but we can’t push an event that requires people to make speeches – including the minister - to be on time. There are too many factors that make things late especially when it is held in a remote area like Walat mountain. Be flexible, and you will have a better feeling of life.

Something I like about Mario Teguh is his wife. She is calm and elegance. With her smile, she observed her husband moving around the room and shake hands with everyone. She was very sure that her husband is under her spell. Her eyes shows her confidence that whatever her husband does, he is doing it for her, wherever her husband goes, he will return back to her. I envy her power to do such a thing. Or perhaps this is the way how love works. Love will make people do great things. Love brings you not only happiness but also satisfaction of achievement, for both you and your partner. People who love their leader will give her/him their trust to do great things for the benefit of all people. The leader will have her/his satisfaction of achievement when s/he can make people happy and make them more prosperous. Mario must be happy to have such an elegant wife as she looks happy and very expensive. In another word, love works both individually and collectively. Our national leader has all the love from the middle to lower class house wives in the country. Has he done any great things? Has he made people more prosperous? I have no comment. I look forward to fall in love and see how love can influence me and my future.

Mario also told the audiences that a husband who is very stingy to his wife will never become a rich and an extraordinary person. Family is the nucleus of happiness. Why on earth a man can’t treat his wife better when it is a man ultimate goal to have a happy family’s life with his children and a loving wife. A man who can’t appreciate his source of happiness is someone who can not appreciate life itself. His words were followed by applauses from all the women. I think he is right. I observe the people around me. I see that many of them who have good positions in my office are they are who obviously love and respect their wives. At least in front of us. When they have problem with their wives, they will stuck somewhere, less than their expectations.

Mario also said that people who have a good carrier are normally they are who are not really smart during school year. I totally agree. My roommate husband is a director though everyone knows that during his time in university he took longer duration of study than any other students as he had to re-do many classes. He was a playful and cheerful student and everyone likes him. His social networking and the way he treat the others may lead him to a good carrier.

For me, Mario messages are sometime similar to preaches from religious leaders but using different approaches. He explores the philosophical side of explanation. People listen to him more as he is more rational than religious leaders. Or perhaps, people are getting sick to see religious leaders who act contrary to what they say. For example, his concept of “I+God=enough” is another way of saying that I - with all of my attributes (achievement, position, wealth, etc) - will always be under God observation and God intervention. When the “I” believes that whatever s/he gets and s/he gives, they are all for God existence, it is enough for the “I” to have a good life, as God is the owner of life. He said, appreciate and support the others and life will give you good rewards. He tries to make people to be generous, make people to always have a positive attitude of life. He mentioned, if you want to be a great person, do great things for the others, select great people as your friends, have a good communication with yourself to make you a stronger person, etc. But sometime he is predictable. If you watch his program on TV regularly, you will recognize the framework of his messages, and you can predict what he is going to say.

During his talk, he asked many questions to the audience. But mostly he went to the left wing of the room where I was sitting in the right wing of the room. When he asked “what would you do when God guarantee no failure to you”. Nobody could answer it. I raised my hand. I know my answer. But he didn’t notice me or he pretended not to see me. I hope Mario read my blog and this is my answer. “ I will make people to love their nature; make people not to make any destruction to the world; make people appreciate others and do not hurt each other and hope these will lead people – all human being – to go to heaven. And I hope God doesn’t mind to manage a crowded heaven”.

Meet friends.

It was good seeing many friends during the university. Unfortunately, there were not so many from my year - we called 19th generation of foresters – came to the reunion. I spent my time more with them from the earlier year. I met Eka, she lives in west Sumatra now. I stayed in her house when I went to Bukit Barisan Selatan National Park in 1987. We have not met for more than 20 years. I met my roommate again when I was in the university’s dorm. She is a shy and nervous woman. She admitted that she was a bit unsure when she found out that she had to share a room with me – a free, active and chatty student. At last she found that our time to be together is the best time of her life. We always had something to discuss to, until more than midnight. Every single day. Though we have totally different personality, but we had a lot of fun together. She is my other sister.

On the first day of the reunion, after all of those ceremonial things, we chose our new coordinator of the alumnus. After an open screening process, in the end we had only 2 candidates and the audiences split into 2 groups. We yelled to each other for supporting our candidates. Felt like we were students again. The one who had more members of supporters then was elected as the coordinator. There were musical performances. Our former minister came to sing and dance with us in the evening on the first day. Unfortunately, on the second day - which was also Sunday where people normally have other family programs – after planting some trees and having outbound activities, people were leaving and only a few left after lunch. So for more than 2 hours, we occupied the event, a musical performance. Everyone took part by dancing and singing (see the picture). Even Odum - one of the lecturers, the most quiet and shy guy, - contributed a song. It was so fun.

An unpleasant situation occurred. On the first day, my lecture asked about my family and I said I am single. Then he asked me to marry him as he is divorced. What ? My answer was a big NO. He is an old guy. He will retire in about 3 months. Old people will die soon and I have no intention to marry a dying person. Besides, all students know that he is a womanizer. For me, marrying a womanizer is a bad idea. A few minutes later, other lecturer asked me to sit next to him. Yes Sir, what’s up? He said “Retno, Mr. X is sexually active at the moment. You should not reject him”. Oh dear ! These guys were serious. It’s OK if he is sexually active at the moment. But how about in the next 5 to 10 years? He will become an elderly person. Someone who needs somebody’s hand to walk, needs somebody’s hand to eat, even needs somebody’s hand to urinate. I’m not going to spend my future as an elderly nurse. 2 of my neighbors are doing that. The wives left their jobs as their retired husbands demand their full attention. If this happen to me, my purpose of life to make this world as a better place to live will fall into pieces. However, I’m amazed seeing those old guys during their retiring period, are thinking only about one thing. Sex. Is it the way they define a marriage? Is it the only thing they see from a woman? OMG

Finally, the reunion was good. It was fun to see old friends. Seeing the mountain again with all the big dammar trees. Musical performance is good. Although for me, it would be better to have a sport game, older generation versus younger generation. Everyone participate for playing or supporting – read yelling. May be next time, in the next 3 years. I’m looking forward to the next reunion – HAPKA XV.

Halal bi halal

No body can exactly tell the meaning of those words. Halal itself means something that religiously can be eaten or utilized, such as eating meats from animals slaughtered with Islamic way or sleeping with a woman that you have married. Halal bi halal in Indonesia means an event that we gather with people from our social networking to ask for forgiveness in relation to celebrating Lebaran day that just has past. You could see, there is no relation at all of the real meaning of Halal word with Halal bi halal activities. In an other word, we are creating our own wording for our own meaning.

Shakespeare said “what is a name?”, so whatever the meaning of Halal bi halal is, most of Indonesians love this words as we are having this kind of gathering event each year after Lebaran day. That is the time when we can meet, hug, shake hands and eat together with our friends or long unseen old friends, colleagues or ex-colleagues, business partners, bosses stored inside glassy boxes, securities and everyone that has connection with our life. The wider social networking you have, the higher status you have in your society or office or political parties, the more Halal bi halal invitations to be attended, and the more fat accumulation you have in your stomach since big feasts is a must. To date, I have attended 4 Halal bi halal events, the one with my colleagues, with other foresters, with high school friends and with my nature lover group. And there will be more to come.

Halal bi halal also functions as a reunion. It is the best reason to arrange a reunion where we can meet all of the old friends. Seeing how they change a lot. Asking how life is. In Halal bi halal with the members of my university’s nature lover group last Sunday (see the picture - these are people I have not met for about 20 years), a friend of mine was amazed seeing how I totally changed. For him, when we were in university, I was such a small, tiny, dark, ugly and smelly girl – I rarely took shower when we had a trip, walked across the jungle or climbed up a mountain. I was 18 years old that time. You could see, most girls will reach the peak of their beauties when they are teenagers. But for me, life begins at 40’s. Wait until I have a boy friend. I promise I will totally change my appearance, what ever the result is.

In the Halal bi halal with foresters from my university, I met an old guy who used to be my partner when we had meeting with other governmental institutions discussing about mining versus protection forests several years ago. As normal with a big smile I asked, “so how is life and where is your position now?”. He said” well, I’m the one who signed for your permit to extend your studying period”. What ? How come? A friend of mine whispered from behind “Retno, he is the director of HRD bureau in our ministry”. Ups. Oh no. It was so embarrassing. After these years away from my office for studying, I’m not up dating information from my office. I felt so stupid. Perhaps, for the whole Ministry of Forestry of Indonesia, I’m the only one who does not know about his central position, as he is the one who decide whether we are appropriate enough to be promoted or not or decide which town in Indonesia for our official placement. Well, I hope after that day he will not consider to officially placing me in a remote area somewhere in East Indonesia. Oh dear.

However, it was not my first time of behaving stupidly. When I enjoyed painting exhibition in Erasmus Huis several years ago, an old guy approached and asked my opinion about the paintings. Frankly, I have a zero understanding how to give artistic value of a painting. But since he needed my opinion, I just said what ever in my mind. I said ”Well, I think the painter does not know how to draw perspective in his painting. All objects have similar size. The painter must be childish too, as his paintings look similar with the ones produced by children”. Suddenly that old guy gave me a lecture about painting value. Who is this guy? I was stunned when I saw from the booklet, that he was the painter who had the exhibition. Oh no. What have I done? To make up with him, I told him that his paintings had color that was different to any paintings that I have ever seen. And soon I vanished.

Back to Halal bi halal. The atmosphere of celebrating Lebaran day will last for a couple months ahead, sometime more. Every day during these months you will see people shake hands and said “How are you? Happy Lebaran day and I’m sorry for everything”, though they have not met for a decade. When formal Halal bi halal event provide food from expensive catering, the one with friends use potluck system where everyone can show off their specialties in cooking certain kind of food. But for me, thank you for the existence of coca cola company.

These couple months are the time for Indonesian people having parties every where. Eating here, eating there. Smiling to everyone. Shake hands at any time. Saying sorry for no reason to any one. I wish this happy atmosphere will remain in people’s hearts throughout the years to come.

Happy Ied Mubarak (Selamat Hari Lebaran)

After fasting for one moth during Ramadhan, on 1st Syawal, Moslem's people all over the world celebrate Ied Mubarak. We call it “the winning day”, since during the Ramadhan month, not only we are not eating during the day, but we also challenge to execute good deeds as much as we can, make gifts as many as we can, go to the mosque for praying as often as we can and say God’s name and read Koran as long as we can. We should also prevent ourselves for any bad actions such as swearing, hurting the others, etc. Ramadhan is also the month that we can make requests to God as many as we can. God promises if we can fulfill what God has ordered, God will multiply our good deeds for hundreds or even thousand times. God will approve our requests, and for sure we will receive God’s mercy. After we pass Ramadhan month, on the Lebaran day or Ied Mubarak, we would be as clean as a baby.

Indonesia, the largest Moslem country, where 90% of its populations are Moslem, off course celebrates this Ied Mubarak. It is the time when all Indonesian people, from all over the world, return to their hometown. Mostly Javanese people, they love to have family gathering during Lebaran day. Mother, father and children will go together to see grandparents and other relatives in other cities. We need to see the others since Lebaran day is the day when we ask forgiveness from others to complete what we have done during the Ramadhan month. The money that they have been collecting during a year will evaporate only for a few days. Each business in Indonesia also has an obligation to offer support funding for celebrating the day that we call THR or tunjangan hari raya.

Some people said that going home for Lebaran celebration is out of our rationalization. How come that the amount of money that they can develop as capital to build further business, use only for individual consumption. New dresses, lots of food, gifts for friends and neighbors are also the complementary things. Plus traveling expenses. It consumes a huge amount of money. Even people abroad who could not get permission to go home from their supervisors will send money to their relatives in Indonesia to celebrate the day which is about 9.1 trillion rupiah this year (MetroTv news). Nevertheless, going home is a tradition. Something that has been infiltrated into people’s mind that this behavior is a must in their society. No matter how expensive it is. Gathering with family is a relief after one stressful year working and struggling for life in other’s people areas. Not only forgiving, they are also eating together, laughing together, doing recreation together with all of the members of the beloved families. On the other hand, going home is a show off on how successful they are during these years.

People will spend money in their hometown. Transportation business will reach their peak of sales. Money itself will be distributed evenly to each corner of the country. Some economic experts say, this phenomenon will strengthen our macro economy condition. I think if we have an event as big as Lebaran day every month, Indonesia will have a stronger economic condition than today. No wonder, there are more and more holidays we have now than a few years before. This will encourage people to travel and distribute money to other places.

Jakarta will be empty during this Lebaran day. It is predicted that almost 3.2 million people will go by train, plus several other millions will take buses, airplanes and ships. Several factories such as traditional medicine factories, offer free bus ride to several towns for people who work for them. Even my office, at the ministry of forestry, offers free buses to several towns in Central Java. Maids from my office colleagues normally take the opportunity. Another phenomenon is, there will be 3.9 million people that will go by motorcycles (Tvone.come). Motorcycle is a cheap vehicle that most people afford to buy. Last year, 74% of the total road accidents were from these motorcycle riders. Irrationally, 5 people rode on it (parents and 3 little children). So you could imagine how dangerous it is, traveling for hundred kilometers with a motorcycle where the whole family are the riders, and where all of around them are giant trucks and buses. So this year, some motorcycle dealers offer a program of going home with motorcycles together. Wives and children will be put in buses where husbands are traveling with his flock of motorcycles. This hopefully will reduce the potential road accidents. Though negatively they will bring more people when they return, during the Lebaran holiday, most people will go and Jakarta will be empty. So empty.

When I was a child, my family was part of these Javanese flocks that went home from Jakarta to their hometown. Father, mother and 6 children. We were not a rich family so we took the cheap standard economic train where people can still go with the train with no seats. They are sleeping all over the train’s floor. In Malang, my mother’s hometown, we stayed at my grandparent house. Though it changes now but to date, I can still remember the old house. Old style of windows and doors, the big kitchen, railway next to the house and the smell of my grandmother medicine oil as she spent time on bed during her last days. At that time, I met all of my cousins, and traveled almost every day including visiting my father’s hometown. The last time I went back to Malang with my parents was during my high school. It was only 4 of us, both of my parents, me and my little sister. My father took us to many of his memorable places during his childhood. A house yard full of Zalacca palm and its fruit, places where my father stole the sugar cane with his friends, and the river where he swam, fished and played around with his boyfriends during his childhood. My father looked very happy showing us all of his memorable places. A few years later, he died.

Grandparents had gone. Father had gone. So far, we celebrate Lebaran day at home and visiting relatives older than my mother and late father, not far away from Jakarta. And also we have relatives visiting us during the day. There will be big feast. Everybody should eat. When the time goes by, people are getting older. Marriages make people visit their spouse’s family than their own. More people move to other towns and less and less people are visiting us. And this year, for the first time, we celebrate Lebaran day in Bogor at my sister’s house. Not in mine, since my home is too small to have the whole family’s members. This must be the most quite Lebaran that we ever have. But hopefully, this will tighten up the closeness of my family’s members.

Happy Ied Mubarak everybody. Please give forgiveness to every mistake that I make, unconsciously or intentionally. Have fun with your families and May God blesses will always be with us each day.

Friends (the CCF gang)

I have several friends during these 10 years that always spend time together. We all are people who took a French class at CCF before. It was in 1999, when I took a French language class at CCF in Kebayoran Baru. I intended to learn French since I need to have my second international language after English. Besides, French sounds so sexy. When you hear someone speak French, they will move every part of their faces. When the lips move sexily, their eyes will approve what lips say. When we say ‘no’ or ‘yes” in English, we can say it flat, but when we say ‘non’ or ‘ui’ in French, feel like my lips and eyes are working together. I am hoping, if I speak French well, I will look a bit sexier.

By the way, the language - that I think - gives the speaker no gesture is German. When I was I in Stuttgart, I went to a local castle. The guide spoke German, though I learned German during high school and but all I remember about the language is only “Ich liebe dich”. The guide made a joke, everyone was laughing. I said nothing as I saw him as a talking mannequin. No smile. No head movement. No gesture at all. What a stiff person.

Back to CCF. I first arrived in Mimma’s class. A young teacher who now works for the French embassy. I had several classes afterwards, but I ended to move back to Mimma’s class. I liked the way Mimma thought and I like her too. She is the most fun person I’ve ever known. When she is around, things will cheer up. When teaching, she played around and made learning a language became a fun thing. There was also another teacher who likes to teach us how to make French cuisines. But on top of that, I have great friends from CCF.

When I have long week end, I often ask my friends from CCF to join me exploring the nature and some are national parks. Way Kambas NP, Pulau Seribu NP, Karimun Jawa NP, Bali Barat NP, Bromo Tengger Semeru NP, Baluran NP, Kapoposang Recreation park, and many others such as exporing Lombok island. Many interesting memories we had together. I, Titis and Yance with several other friends, dived in the beautiful and clean water of Kapoposang, spent over night and had a fish as big as a baby. We barbequed it by using sea water as the ingredient. When I, Titis, Betti and Tantri went to explore Lombok island (see the picture), we ate “plecing” or leafy vegetable every day. When we could not tell the different between dogs and monkeys, we believed that because of the chemical compound of plecing that influenced our consciousness, as we ate it too much. When I and Mimma went to Karimun Jawa NP, we swam naked on the beach and the sensation was superb! Those are only a few memories that we shared together. There are a lot more !!

Our next destinations are Raja empat and Wakatobi NP. But due to my chaotic financial situation at the moment, let me finish my study first then we can have fun again. The good impact of my hobby to explore the nature is encouraging others to manage other trips. Many of them with other friends, managing several trips to Ujung Kulon NP, Ujung Genteng and others. Even Betti, Bambang and others start to travel all over the world. If you need any information about the cheap packages to different countries, ask Betti. Not only traveling, birthday party for a dinner at different restaurants is our moment to see each other. After the dinner we often move to other coffee house to finish the party. I shared my birthday party with Betti, and since Betti has many kinds of credit cards, normally I will find any restaurant that give 50% discount rate for a dinner. That’s something for a student like me, as still we split the bill afterwards. Though I could only eat at certain restaurants at the moment, but I’m glad that my friends comprehend my weaknesses.

In one period in CCF, when the class finished, sometime I and several others continued the class to a local café. Or to my renting place close to CCF at that time, for a cup of coffee or having evening meals. It was a day when I had a class mate who was a hooker. She went there because her boyfriend wanted her to speak French. I make friends with everyone. As long as they are nice to me, I will be nice to them too. I was touched when she said to us that it was the first time for her to have normal friends. I wonder how bad people were treated her. To prove my friendship, she took me to the places where she worked. Tanahmur at Tanah Abang, Jalan Jaksa, some discothèques, where most of her customers were foreigners. I didn’t change my mind. She is still my friend. For me, life is about making a choice. Some people are fortunate enough to make a good life, but some are trapped in long unavoidable misfortunes. Although she graduated from a university, drugs, bad divorce, loosing the only child and family problems were the things that dragged her to become a hooker.

One day she gave me a call wondering whether she had to take a job as a secretary. I encouraged her to take the opportunity, hoping that she would have a better life. I and several friends were also accompanied her in an in interview to become a manager at a local cafe. Good things came to her, more and more. She took an interview with Singapore airlines, and she got the job. Nowadays, she is a customer manager of Singapore airlines in one country somewhere on this globe. I lost contact with her when I lost my cell phone again (it is about 10 times now).

See how her life is changing. I’m learning a lot from her. I’m learning that we have no reason to look down the others. I knew her first as a hooker, the lowest status in our society, even some people are allergic to them. Now she is someone important in Singapore airlines, where only a few people have the quality for her position. We never know how God manages someone’s life. All we can do just appreciating the others and help when we can. Because someone who might has a lower status than us now, perhaps in the future will become someone who will rescue your life.

Everyone needs friends. There will be no life if we have no friends. But it is up to us to whom we make friends. If I have to make a choice between a fancy girl, live in an apartment, but she lies a lot and likes to compete for everything, and a nice hooker that we can spend time together, laughing at the corner of a restaurant, I choose the hooker as my friend. I could not stand with someone who lies a lot and unconsciously betrays the friendship. Whoever they are, because sincerity is something important for me in a friendship. When I have good friends, I love them and I feel that they love me too. And I hope our friendship will last forever.