HAPKA XIV - foresters reunion

Morning departure

Dissimilar to the normal days, after my morning pray I didn’t go to bed again. I prepared to catch a bus at 6.30 AM at Bogor Agricultural University to go to Walat Mountain. Saturday, 31st November 2009, was the day where the faculty of forestry held a big reunion for the XIV times. The big reunion itself is held every 3 years. Attending the reunion means seeing from the first graduated foresters to the youngest ones. I arrived at 6.15 AM. But the bus departed at 7 o’clock since there were not so many people appeared. If I knew this, I might have taken a short nap this morning before leaving.

In 2 hours, 12 people in the bus arrived in Walat Mt – a small hill covered with big dammar trees used by students for their field practices in the Faculty of Forestry. Though during my studying year, I went to Walat Mountain mostly for my nature lovers’ group field activities. There are tremendous changes occurred in the mountain. Students mess which normally looked like huts, at the moment they look fancier. The kitchen that almost broke down now becomes a nice dining area. But the aula has the best change. Wooden floor and beautiful wooden ceiling make the aula looks very nice. Most of these renovation activities are donation from our alumnus. I stayed in a room for lecturers with a friend. Before sleeping we tried to have a chat. But I felt that my friend was so far away and whispered chat in the midnight didn’t work at all. We just realized the next day that the room is quite a big one, 3x5 meter square.

It is only less than a year after Budi - younger generations of forestry lecturers - holds the responsibility to manage the area. Everyone knows him as a smart person though he acts and speaks like a crazy guy. I will laugh till I couldn’t breathe when I hear him make jokes. His idea to catch people attention to go the mountain is “if you want to marry secretly, the mountain is the best place to do it”. He said that we will have a free of charge rate if we can take people from the highest echelon in the ministry of forestry to do this secret marriage. It is such a crazy idea !! We do not take this seriously. No one will be brave enough to take their secret lovers to the university’s facilities – the biggest agricultural university in Indonesia. It is not going to be a secret anymore as students are everywhere. These students will watch you and your secret lovers having fun. That’s foolish!. But eventually, the idea is not a joke for our minister since he is coming from one of the religious political parties. There are two possibilities, he is a very religious person or he has no sense of humor. Perhaps in a short time, Budi should launch another catching slogan to make people to come to the mountain.

In the future, Budi has a program to make Walat Mt belongs not only to the university, but also public in general. International mountain bike race will be held soon there. Facilities provided also available for different purposes, from nature lover groups requirement, family visit to a big seminar with natural surrounding environment – big dammar trees, monkeys and bird’s song. It is a good place to spend week end with family.

Indonesian motivator

One of Indonesian famous motivators – Mario Teguh – gave his presentation that day. Everyone was waiting for him. As normal, all speeches took so much time. Especially when you used to work for the government, the longer you spend your talk, the better as people will go to sleep. But Mario is a professional. For him, if the appointment is at twelve to one o’clock, it has to be started at twelve o’clock and finished at one o’clock. His schedule was 40 minutes late which made him to have only 20 minutes left to speak. This also made his rate much higher – his normal rate is US$ 100 per minute. Though at last he added an extra 15 minutes. He said that he was very sure everyone in this room is good friends to each other since when the speeches were executed slowly, no one complained. He said this with a tone of humor. Mario may be right, or perhaps he wants to make people to become punctual. But he forgot that we are Indonesians. 30 minutes to 1 hour late is forgivable. He is the one who should make an adjustment, or he can make a life in Singapore where everyone is punctual, not in Indonesia. We can make our own self punctual, but we can’t push an event that requires people to make speeches – including the minister - to be on time. There are too many factors that make things late especially when it is held in a remote area like Walat mountain. Be flexible, and you will have a better feeling of life.

Something I like about Mario Teguh is his wife. She is calm and elegance. With her smile, she observed her husband moving around the room and shake hands with everyone. She was very sure that her husband is under her spell. Her eyes shows her confidence that whatever her husband does, he is doing it for her, wherever her husband goes, he will return back to her. I envy her power to do such a thing. Or perhaps this is the way how love works. Love will make people do great things. Love brings you not only happiness but also satisfaction of achievement, for both you and your partner. People who love their leader will give her/him their trust to do great things for the benefit of all people. The leader will have her/his satisfaction of achievement when s/he can make people happy and make them more prosperous. Mario must be happy to have such an elegant wife as she looks happy and very expensive. In another word, love works both individually and collectively. Our national leader has all the love from the middle to lower class house wives in the country. Has he done any great things? Has he made people more prosperous? I have no comment. I look forward to fall in love and see how love can influence me and my future.

Mario also told the audiences that a husband who is very stingy to his wife will never become a rich and an extraordinary person. Family is the nucleus of happiness. Why on earth a man can’t treat his wife better when it is a man ultimate goal to have a happy family’s life with his children and a loving wife. A man who can’t appreciate his source of happiness is someone who can not appreciate life itself. His words were followed by applauses from all the women. I think he is right. I observe the people around me. I see that many of them who have good positions in my office are they are who obviously love and respect their wives. At least in front of us. When they have problem with their wives, they will stuck somewhere, less than their expectations.

Mario also said that people who have a good carrier are normally they are who are not really smart during school year. I totally agree. My roommate husband is a director though everyone knows that during his time in university he took longer duration of study than any other students as he had to re-do many classes. He was a playful and cheerful student and everyone likes him. His social networking and the way he treat the others may lead him to a good carrier.

For me, Mario messages are sometime similar to preaches from religious leaders but using different approaches. He explores the philosophical side of explanation. People listen to him more as he is more rational than religious leaders. Or perhaps, people are getting sick to see religious leaders who act contrary to what they say. For example, his concept of “I+God=enough” is another way of saying that I - with all of my attributes (achievement, position, wealth, etc) - will always be under God observation and God intervention. When the “I” believes that whatever s/he gets and s/he gives, they are all for God existence, it is enough for the “I” to have a good life, as God is the owner of life. He said, appreciate and support the others and life will give you good rewards. He tries to make people to be generous, make people to always have a positive attitude of life. He mentioned, if you want to be a great person, do great things for the others, select great people as your friends, have a good communication with yourself to make you a stronger person, etc. But sometime he is predictable. If you watch his program on TV regularly, you will recognize the framework of his messages, and you can predict what he is going to say.

During his talk, he asked many questions to the audience. But mostly he went to the left wing of the room where I was sitting in the right wing of the room. When he asked “what would you do when God guarantee no failure to you”. Nobody could answer it. I raised my hand. I know my answer. But he didn’t notice me or he pretended not to see me. I hope Mario read my blog and this is my answer. “ I will make people to love their nature; make people not to make any destruction to the world; make people appreciate others and do not hurt each other and hope these will lead people – all human being – to go to heaven. And I hope God doesn’t mind to manage a crowded heaven”.

Meet friends.

It was good seeing many friends during the university. Unfortunately, there were not so many from my year - we called 19th generation of foresters – came to the reunion. I spent my time more with them from the earlier year. I met Eka, she lives in west Sumatra now. I stayed in her house when I went to Bukit Barisan Selatan National Park in 1987. We have not met for more than 20 years. I met my roommate again when I was in the university’s dorm. She is a shy and nervous woman. She admitted that she was a bit unsure when she found out that she had to share a room with me – a free, active and chatty student. At last she found that our time to be together is the best time of her life. We always had something to discuss to, until more than midnight. Every single day. Though we have totally different personality, but we had a lot of fun together. She is my other sister.

On the first day of the reunion, after all of those ceremonial things, we chose our new coordinator of the alumnus. After an open screening process, in the end we had only 2 candidates and the audiences split into 2 groups. We yelled to each other for supporting our candidates. Felt like we were students again. The one who had more members of supporters then was elected as the coordinator. There were musical performances. Our former minister came to sing and dance with us in the evening on the first day. Unfortunately, on the second day - which was also Sunday where people normally have other family programs – after planting some trees and having outbound activities, people were leaving and only a few left after lunch. So for more than 2 hours, we occupied the event, a musical performance. Everyone took part by dancing and singing (see the picture). Even Odum - one of the lecturers, the most quiet and shy guy, - contributed a song. It was so fun.

An unpleasant situation occurred. On the first day, my lecture asked about my family and I said I am single. Then he asked me to marry him as he is divorced. What ? My answer was a big NO. He is an old guy. He will retire in about 3 months. Old people will die soon and I have no intention to marry a dying person. Besides, all students know that he is a womanizer. For me, marrying a womanizer is a bad idea. A few minutes later, other lecturer asked me to sit next to him. Yes Sir, what’s up? He said “Retno, Mr. X is sexually active at the moment. You should not reject him”. Oh dear ! These guys were serious. It’s OK if he is sexually active at the moment. But how about in the next 5 to 10 years? He will become an elderly person. Someone who needs somebody’s hand to walk, needs somebody’s hand to eat, even needs somebody’s hand to urinate. I’m not going to spend my future as an elderly nurse. 2 of my neighbors are doing that. The wives left their jobs as their retired husbands demand their full attention. If this happen to me, my purpose of life to make this world as a better place to live will fall into pieces. However, I’m amazed seeing those old guys during their retiring period, are thinking only about one thing. Sex. Is it the way they define a marriage? Is it the only thing they see from a woman? OMG

Finally, the reunion was good. It was fun to see old friends. Seeing the mountain again with all the big dammar trees. Musical performance is good. Although for me, it would be better to have a sport game, older generation versus younger generation. Everyone participate for playing or supporting – read yelling. May be next time, in the next 3 years. I’m looking forward to the next reunion – HAPKA XV.

Halal bi halal

No body can exactly tell the meaning of those words. Halal itself means something that religiously can be eaten or utilized, such as eating meats from animals slaughtered with Islamic way or sleeping with a woman that you have married. Halal bi halal in Indonesia means an event that we gather with people from our social networking to ask for forgiveness in relation to celebrating Lebaran day that just has past. You could see, there is no relation at all of the real meaning of Halal word with Halal bi halal activities. In an other word, we are creating our own wording for our own meaning.

Shakespeare said “what is a name?”, so whatever the meaning of Halal bi halal is, most of Indonesians love this words as we are having this kind of gathering event each year after Lebaran day. That is the time when we can meet, hug, shake hands and eat together with our friends or long unseen old friends, colleagues or ex-colleagues, business partners, bosses stored inside glassy boxes, securities and everyone that has connection with our life. The wider social networking you have, the higher status you have in your society or office or political parties, the more Halal bi halal invitations to be attended, and the more fat accumulation you have in your stomach since big feasts is a must. To date, I have attended 4 Halal bi halal events, the one with my colleagues, with other foresters, with high school friends and with my nature lover group. And there will be more to come.

Halal bi halal also functions as a reunion. It is the best reason to arrange a reunion where we can meet all of the old friends. Seeing how they change a lot. Asking how life is. In Halal bi halal with the members of my university’s nature lover group last Sunday (see the picture - these are people I have not met for about 20 years), a friend of mine was amazed seeing how I totally changed. For him, when we were in university, I was such a small, tiny, dark, ugly and smelly girl – I rarely took shower when we had a trip, walked across the jungle or climbed up a mountain. I was 18 years old that time. You could see, most girls will reach the peak of their beauties when they are teenagers. But for me, life begins at 40’s. Wait until I have a boy friend. I promise I will totally change my appearance, what ever the result is.

In the Halal bi halal with foresters from my university, I met an old guy who used to be my partner when we had meeting with other governmental institutions discussing about mining versus protection forests several years ago. As normal with a big smile I asked, “so how is life and where is your position now?”. He said” well, I’m the one who signed for your permit to extend your studying period”. What ? How come? A friend of mine whispered from behind “Retno, he is the director of HRD bureau in our ministry”. Ups. Oh no. It was so embarrassing. After these years away from my office for studying, I’m not up dating information from my office. I felt so stupid. Perhaps, for the whole Ministry of Forestry of Indonesia, I’m the only one who does not know about his central position, as he is the one who decide whether we are appropriate enough to be promoted or not or decide which town in Indonesia for our official placement. Well, I hope after that day he will not consider to officially placing me in a remote area somewhere in East Indonesia. Oh dear.

However, it was not my first time of behaving stupidly. When I enjoyed painting exhibition in Erasmus Huis several years ago, an old guy approached and asked my opinion about the paintings. Frankly, I have a zero understanding how to give artistic value of a painting. But since he needed my opinion, I just said what ever in my mind. I said ”Well, I think the painter does not know how to draw perspective in his painting. All objects have similar size. The painter must be childish too, as his paintings look similar with the ones produced by children”. Suddenly that old guy gave me a lecture about painting value. Who is this guy? I was stunned when I saw from the booklet, that he was the painter who had the exhibition. Oh no. What have I done? To make up with him, I told him that his paintings had color that was different to any paintings that I have ever seen. And soon I vanished.

Back to Halal bi halal. The atmosphere of celebrating Lebaran day will last for a couple months ahead, sometime more. Every day during these months you will see people shake hands and said “How are you? Happy Lebaran day and I’m sorry for everything”, though they have not met for a decade. When formal Halal bi halal event provide food from expensive catering, the one with friends use potluck system where everyone can show off their specialties in cooking certain kind of food. But for me, thank you for the existence of coca cola company.

These couple months are the time for Indonesian people having parties every where. Eating here, eating there. Smiling to everyone. Shake hands at any time. Saying sorry for no reason to any one. I wish this happy atmosphere will remain in people’s hearts throughout the years to come.

Friends (the CCF gang)

I have several friends during these 10 years that always spend time together. We all are people who took a French class at CCF before. It was in 1999, when I took a French language class at CCF in Kebayoran Baru. I intended to learn French since I need to have my second international language after English. Besides, French sounds so sexy. When you hear someone speak French, they will move every part of their faces. When the lips move sexily, their eyes will approve what lips say. When we say ‘no’ or ‘yes” in English, we can say it flat, but when we say ‘non’ or ‘ui’ in French, feel like my lips and eyes are working together. I am hoping, if I speak French well, I will look a bit sexier.

By the way, the language - that I think - gives the speaker no gesture is German. When I was I in Stuttgart, I went to a local castle. The guide spoke German, though I learned German during high school and but all I remember about the language is only “Ich liebe dich”. The guide made a joke, everyone was laughing. I said nothing as I saw him as a talking mannequin. No smile. No head movement. No gesture at all. What a stiff person.

Back to CCF. I first arrived in Mimma’s class. A young teacher who now works for the French embassy. I had several classes afterwards, but I ended to move back to Mimma’s class. I liked the way Mimma thought and I like her too. She is the most fun person I’ve ever known. When she is around, things will cheer up. When teaching, she played around and made learning a language became a fun thing. There was also another teacher who likes to teach us how to make French cuisines. But on top of that, I have great friends from CCF.

When I have long week end, I often ask my friends from CCF to join me exploring the nature and some are national parks. Way Kambas NP, Pulau Seribu NP, Karimun Jawa NP, Bali Barat NP, Bromo Tengger Semeru NP, Baluran NP, Kapoposang Recreation park, and many others such as exporing Lombok island. Many interesting memories we had together. I, Titis and Yance with several other friends, dived in the beautiful and clean water of Kapoposang, spent over night and had a fish as big as a baby. We barbequed it by using sea water as the ingredient. When I, Titis, Betti and Tantri went to explore Lombok island (see the picture), we ate “plecing” or leafy vegetable every day. When we could not tell the different between dogs and monkeys, we believed that because of the chemical compound of plecing that influenced our consciousness, as we ate it too much. When I and Mimma went to Karimun Jawa NP, we swam naked on the beach and the sensation was superb! Those are only a few memories that we shared together. There are a lot more !!

Our next destinations are Raja empat and Wakatobi NP. But due to my chaotic financial situation at the moment, let me finish my study first then we can have fun again. The good impact of my hobby to explore the nature is encouraging others to manage other trips. Many of them with other friends, managing several trips to Ujung Kulon NP, Ujung Genteng and others. Even Betti, Bambang and others start to travel all over the world. If you need any information about the cheap packages to different countries, ask Betti. Not only traveling, birthday party for a dinner at different restaurants is our moment to see each other. After the dinner we often move to other coffee house to finish the party. I shared my birthday party with Betti, and since Betti has many kinds of credit cards, normally I will find any restaurant that give 50% discount rate for a dinner. That’s something for a student like me, as still we split the bill afterwards. Though I could only eat at certain restaurants at the moment, but I’m glad that my friends comprehend my weaknesses.

In one period in CCF, when the class finished, sometime I and several others continued the class to a local café. Or to my renting place close to CCF at that time, for a cup of coffee or having evening meals. It was a day when I had a class mate who was a hooker. She went there because her boyfriend wanted her to speak French. I make friends with everyone. As long as they are nice to me, I will be nice to them too. I was touched when she said to us that it was the first time for her to have normal friends. I wonder how bad people were treated her. To prove my friendship, she took me to the places where she worked. Tanahmur at Tanah Abang, Jalan Jaksa, some discothèques, where most of her customers were foreigners. I didn’t change my mind. She is still my friend. For me, life is about making a choice. Some people are fortunate enough to make a good life, but some are trapped in long unavoidable misfortunes. Although she graduated from a university, drugs, bad divorce, loosing the only child and family problems were the things that dragged her to become a hooker.

One day she gave me a call wondering whether she had to take a job as a secretary. I encouraged her to take the opportunity, hoping that she would have a better life. I and several friends were also accompanied her in an in interview to become a manager at a local cafe. Good things came to her, more and more. She took an interview with Singapore airlines, and she got the job. Nowadays, she is a customer manager of Singapore airlines in one country somewhere on this globe. I lost contact with her when I lost my cell phone again (it is about 10 times now).

See how her life is changing. I’m learning a lot from her. I’m learning that we have no reason to look down the others. I knew her first as a hooker, the lowest status in our society, even some people are allergic to them. Now she is someone important in Singapore airlines, where only a few people have the quality for her position. We never know how God manages someone’s life. All we can do just appreciating the others and help when we can. Because someone who might has a lower status than us now, perhaps in the future will become someone who will rescue your life.

Everyone needs friends. There will be no life if we have no friends. But it is up to us to whom we make friends. If I have to make a choice between a fancy girl, live in an apartment, but she lies a lot and likes to compete for everything, and a nice hooker that we can spend time together, laughing at the corner of a restaurant, I choose the hooker as my friend. I could not stand with someone who lies a lot and unconsciously betrays the friendship. Whoever they are, because sincerity is something important for me in a friendship. When I have good friends, I love them and I feel that they love me too. And I hope our friendship will last forever.

High school reunion

It has been 27 years since I graduated from high school. Yesterday on 12th July, we had our high school reunion. About 100 people came. Some of them have similar faces in high school that I still remember. Let’s say about 50% of them. And the remaining, I totally forgot. They said “Hi Retno, do you remember me ?” and I said “Ups, I don’t”. Then s/he tried to figure out things that can make me remember again. In my opinion, I don’t really care about those memories. The most important thing is, they are my high school friends and we will remain as friends from now on.

When I arrived I met a woman going up to the same direction to the 7th floor of the Perumnas building. Not really remember her, until I recognized her lips. No one in this world has lips like that. This must be Irene !. I missed her so much. We were in the same group for a 60 km marching competition from Bogor to Jakarta and we won the trophy !. We were in a local girl magazine that time, in 1981. All the girls in the group are my best friends during high school.

At the reunion I met Agus, my classmate during my first grade in high school. At that time, I liked him and I think he liked me too :). One time, he drove me home with his motorcycle. I was so excited and I did something stupid on the way home. Normally, a girly way of sitting on motorcycle is facing to the left side of the driver. But I was sitting facing to other direction. I was facing to the right side !! On the traffic light, I was wondering why the girl in front of me was facing me. Why everyone was looking at me ? Agus – he is a very quite guy – say nothing as well. What an embarrassing memory. When I met Agus again, we were laughing together remembering the moment.

In Indonesia, during high school we have to share a table with other student. In the reunion, I met Evy - my shared table friend during the first grade – and Ningsih – my shared table friend during the third grade. All of us are chatty women and we all were clever students. I still regularly meet Ningsih for having lunch together when we have time. But I lost contact with Evy after high school graduation. I was so excited finding her name on face book and soon we made appointment to have lunch together. I’m still loosing my shared table friend during the second grade -Henny. I wish I can find her soon.

On the way back home, Ari gave me and Umar a lift in his car. I and Umar were heading to the closest train station. The last time I met Ari was during his wedding party. I used to see him also jogging at Senayan. It was 4 years ago. Time passed so fast ! Umar is a good friend of mine during high school. He is a disable person. One of his legs is shorter than the other. Sometime, when I walked with him I would imitated his walking style, I walked as I have one leg shorter that the others !. But he is very smart and he is a dentist now. We had drink together and had a small chat before taking a train at Kalibata train station. We’re going to have another high school reunion next month. Another good time since during reunion we would act as we were teenagers again.